We won't sleep together?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
