Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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