It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
