I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
