so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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