Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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