Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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