His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
