hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
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I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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