yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
