hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
