Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
