I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
