I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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