You're completely useless in the revolution.
Soap is not a condiment
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
