What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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