ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
tell me about the fingering
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