babies were throwing up all over the place
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
