I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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