just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
