I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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