I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
