Buhtt sex?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
