I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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