Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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