apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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