That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
