and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
