Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
