Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
