my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
