Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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