that's an acceptable place to lick
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Im part way to drunk.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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