I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Acid is not a monday night drug
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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