Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
