i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
