my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
