Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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