everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
