I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
