The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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