Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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