girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
