census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
