Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
