good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
