Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
