Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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