I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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