i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
