We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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