it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
