Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
