we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
