hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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