But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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