9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
