The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i will never coherently bang her
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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