I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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